I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
