But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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