Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.

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(513): thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES. http://tfl.nu/uymn

Replies (4) Good night (747) Bad night (2663)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.

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(203): Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states. http://tfl.nu/jgy9

Replies (40) Good night (1016) Bad night (2789)
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(560): View more from

I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?

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(560): I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time? http://tfl.nu/wzlt

Replies (71) Good night (1264) Bad night (21646)
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(847): View more from Illinois

.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......

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(847): .....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party...... http://tfl.nu/uwbu

Replies (7) Good night (1542) Bad night (4286)
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(703): View more from Virginia

Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.

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(703): Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day. http://tfl.nu/0otc

Replies (21) Good night (1003) Bad night (6695)
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(607): View more from New York

My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.

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(607): My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons. http://tfl.nu/oech

Replies (17) Good night (7754) Bad night (1126)
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(810): View more from Michigan

I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.

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(810): I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours. http://tfl.nu/82rg

Replies (4) Good night (1039) Bad night (2273)
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(706): View more from Georgia

I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them

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(706): I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them http://tfl.nu/sm11

Replies (10) Good night (1576) Bad night (732)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home

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(250): not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home http://tfl.nu/i7w6

Replies (4) Good night (1178) Bad night (404)
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(775): View more from Nevada

Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.

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(775): Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital. http://tfl.nu/63us

Replies (0) Good night (584) Bad night (290)
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(425): View more from Washington

I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later

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(425): I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later http://tfl.nu/4jkk

Replies (3) Good night (1170) Bad night (332)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.

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(612): I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite. http://tfl.nu/m5xg

Replies (1) Good night (687) Bad night (290)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"

(978): View more from Massachusetts

or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"

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(978): I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it" (978): or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored" http://tfl.nu/zr7x

Replies (3) Good night (815) Bad night (528)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.

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(978): I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk. http://tfl.nu/nl8z

Replies (2) Good night (390) Bad night (640)
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(716): View more from New York

"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."

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(716): "There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days." http://tfl.nu/ks69

Replies (7) Good night (534) Bad night (331)

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