..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
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Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
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Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.