Texts From Last Night

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  (425): View more from Washington

  I proposed and she said yes man.

  (1-425): View more from Washington

  You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?

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  (425): I proposed and she said yes man. (1-425): You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right? http://tfl.nu/wbvk
  Replies (25) Good night (5795) Bad night (870)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.

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  (469): Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate. http://tfl.nu/3qld
  Replies (15) Good night (6819) Bad night (639)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii

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  (517): you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii http://tfl.nu/lbrx
  Replies (22) Good night (9131) Bad night (1408)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.

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  (719): On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour. http://tfl.nu/o2dj
  Replies (6) Good night (3198) Bad night (665)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE

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  (314): BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE http://tfl.nu/wuvh
  Replies (5) Good night (2367) Bad night (726)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan

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  (203): Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan http://tfl.nu/spkf
  Replies (9) Good night (2207) Bad night (816)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles

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  (651): The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles http://tfl.nu/ulwd
  Replies (7) Good night (3228) Bad night (709)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?

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  (402): We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR? http://tfl.nu/06jo
  Replies (1) Good night (956) Bad night (582)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters

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  (401): Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters http://tfl.nu/a1rx
  Replies (2) Good night (496) Bad night (991)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?

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  (856): I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right? http://tfl.nu/8yrh
  Replies (11) Good night (1341) Bad night (551)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil

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  (757): I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil http://tfl.nu/9nrx
  Replies (7) Good night (1007) Bad night (1122)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?

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  (609): LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER? http://tfl.nu/1zq3
  Replies (7) Good night (1089) Bad night (592)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  How on earth did you break your wrist?

  (1-530): View more from California

  I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing

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  (530): How on earth did you break your wrist? (1-530): I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing http://tfl.nu/cks1
  Replies (2) Good night (1559) Bad night (351)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.

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  (845): I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again. http://tfl.nu/qswf
  Replies (3) Good night (244) Bad night (469)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?

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  (512): During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados? http://tfl.nu/e60x
  Replies (5) Good night (682) Bad night (280)

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