I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up