Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Randomize
