I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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