If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
