the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
this will be a night to untag.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Randomize
