there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
