Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
