real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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