My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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