I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
