I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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