did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
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