yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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