i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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