hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
