Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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