He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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