i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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