happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.