im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder