There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"