i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
the liver wants what the liver wants
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top