She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
