A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm having to shit out rocks
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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