Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
We are all done wearing pants today
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
