I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
