She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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