im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
its not stalking. its research.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
