garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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