this just has baby written all over it
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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