i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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