Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
