Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
