I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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