i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
