Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
