So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Randomize
