i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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