Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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