mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
