u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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