So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
im on a boat
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