I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
