btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize