and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
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