How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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