i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
