I'm gonna have a badass scar
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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