Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
