do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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