just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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