I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
