have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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