He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
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I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
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He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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