Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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