lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize
