did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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