shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
