Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
