It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
