And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
