ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
