Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
