The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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