So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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