If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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