You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
