Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
