Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize