If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
