so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
