We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
barbara walters just said penis...
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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